‘SUPERFICIAL’ DATING
- Hi, my name is David Gwilt. I’d like to welcome you to another edition of Thoughts 4 the Ages. I’ve been thinking about doing a piece on this for a while now. I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to frame it. I was on the phone the other day with my ex-wife out in California. She is one of my best friends in the whole world and a wonderful person. We were talking about online dating and we share stories back and forth about our exploits in that theater and she brought up the superficiality of online dating and we discussed that for a bit and I thought it would be a great idea for a topic. The point that she made was that you know in the quote old days before online dating, if you were out in a bar, a restaurant, out in a party with some friends, you would be introduced to somebody or you would meet somebody. In the first few minutes of conversation, you might be assessing what they looked like to you,
how you perceived them, came out in their personality. And it came out, did they make you laugh? Did they seem interesting or dull? And that was a whole lot of the attraction. And with internet dating, and I’m as guilty, I confess, I’m as guilty as anyone with that.
I’m really a visual person, that’s how I learn, is visual. At my age, after many years and a lot of relationships, I know what I’m looking for, I think, when it comes to a visual, as far as a lady is involved. internet dating you see a picture and you go yes or no based on their picture. Now most of the time I’ll go through several pictures because the first picture sometimes looks really good. You know I always try and put up the best picture of me for the first picture, the main photo, and the rest of may not be so flattering, maybe more real if you will. But I’ll look through the pictures and decide very quickly. Most of the time, I confess, based on the picture, to say yes or no. Am I interested in even learning about this person? Now, if it was face-to-face, if it was at a party, I wouldn’t judge that.
I wouldn’t look at someone who was approaching me maybe to have a conversation or someone that was in a group of people who were talking that I approached and inserted myself into that group. I wouldn’t look at that person necessarily as well.
Would I like to date her or not? Do I think she’s attractive or not? I would listen to that conversation, listen to what she had to say, introduce myself maybe, or she would introduce herself. We would have some banter going on.
And if she was funny, if she made me laugh, I was immediately more interested, more so than what her appearance was. It was that personality and how she made me feel and did she make me laugh. I will confess I was in a long-term relationship that ended close to a year ago and one of the things that I always told that woman or told friends when they would say what attracted you to this person would be she made me laugh. You know I’ve said this many times if you’re not having fun you’re doing something wrong and that for me goes
to you know the work that I do, the community theater that I act in, the public speaking that I do, the getting together with friends over at a ball game or whatever at a party, that I always try to have fun in whatever I do. It doesn’t mean that life is always just a bowl of cherries and a barrel of laughs, but I try to have fun in the activities that I put myself into. Otherwise, why am I doing it? What’s the purpose of it? The older I
get, the more I feel that way, realizing that I have less time to spend before my last day than I had already spent. True confession, I will turn 75 years old next month in September. When you look at me and say, David, you do not look that age. I say, thank you so much. You are my favorite listeners. But that is a reality. I’m trying to to be more realistic when it comes to internet dating and assessing, if you will, or selecting women on there that I would like to get to know. It’s a struggle that I have not to be superficial and to judge people you know in a cursory level, in a superficial level, in a flimsy level, just with a look and then say no I don’t like the way they look. Some people are not photogenic. I mean I have friends who in person they’re very attractive person.
Their smile is great, their eyes sparkle, but in photos for whatever reason it doesn’t come across. The camera doesn’t like them. So I’m trying to learn to be less superficial when it comes to online dating and if you are involved in online dating then take a tip from my good friend, my ex-wife Terry in California and don’t be so superficial; just to swipe left, swipe left, swipe left. If you don’t like the way that person looks you might want to read the rest of the information about them and then give it a shot and send them a text maybe get a phone number and have some conversation. You can tell a lot about people by their voice whether they sound old if you will or just quote-unquote old like they’re just tired and slow or if they have a lot of energy. You know when
they sound like someone who wants to get out and do things and have a good time and don’t be superficial like unfortunately I tend to be sometimes. So that’s the message for today. Again my name is David Gwilt. This is Thoughts 4 the Ages. If you would like to comment please do so. reach Yo,u can me david at davidagwilt.com that’s spelled g- w-i-l-t david at daviagwilt dot com. If there’s a topic you’d like me to discuss please let me know that a well.
I really appreciate you listening and have a great day.
Superficial Dating - Look Deeper
